It Comes with Lies
I've been truly excited to see the film It Comes at Night for some time now. It was getting a lot of love from the online groups I follow, who also loved The Autopsy of Jane Doe which was one of the absolute best horror films in the last five years. The trailer was well done and the title was ominous as shit, so I was sold on this being a great horror flick. Unfortunately, it's not a horror flick. Or great. In fact, I really think everyone that rented/purchased it should sue the producers for false advertising.
Let's start with what the movie is. A plague is seemingly devastating the world as we know it. We never get any more information than that. The characters we're presented with are afraid of getting sick and no one wants to go to the cities. That's it. So, we get a family of three living in the woods, just trying to survive the possible apocalypse. Then they find a survivor who also has a wife and kid and they all decide to live together. Okay, so that's the entire goddamn movie.
Nothing fucking comes at night!
It is really a movie about six people living together at the (suggested) end of the world. Everything that looks like it's going somewhere, doesn't. The teenage boy wants to bang the new guy's wife. We're given hints that there's something supernatural about it, but it's just to keep you watching. This is because a) he's a teenage boy and b) she's hot as hell. Spoiler alert: We don't even get to see her naked. Then there's the nightmares and visions of the boy puking blood and getting sick. You know, because people don't have nightmares about the impending doom that they're facing or anything. But the asshole director plays with it and makes you think there's something horrific coming around the corner. It doesn't. Then one father catches the other father lying. Nope, that doesn't really happen. He simply uses a term that he's more comfortable with and we interpret it as a lie because we've been watching for forty minutes and we want something to happen! Next comes an animal being severely injured...there's a monster fixing to come at night, right? No, the damn thing ran into the woods which are full of predators that eat smaller fucking animals. The predators don't attack the people either if you were hoping that might save you from the boredom of watching Big Brother: Armageddon Edition.
This shit is why piracy is so rampant. We're sick of wasting money to be disappointed. I'm not saying pirate every movie, in fact that bullshit has killed some of my dreams. Stop pirating movies and TV shows. It's wrong, but I understand it. It fucking blows to spend $10 on a movie ticket, $17 on a DVD, or even $1.50 on a rental because shady fucking producers let some art house douche canoe make a movie about absolutely fuck all and then hired a real director to make the trailer into something that looked entertaining. This movie was so misrepresented everywhere that I was too pissed off to sleep after watching it.
Major Spoiler!!!
No, really. Stop reading now because I'm going to spoil the ending.
One family murders the other out of sheer fucking paranoia that they might be sick. That's what you wasted an hour and twenty minutes getting to. The father of the original family kills a couple and their toddler because letting them leave isn't an option. The reason it's not an option is because they might not be sick and would come back. No one put any thought into making this movie. Afterwards, the father cries at the table while sharing coffee with his wife. The end.
The last time film was wasted on this much shit it was called Two Girls, One Cup and it had a twist ending at least!
