Residue...or resi-don't
Wow, that was a horrible title. I promise I write books better than review titles. Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled program. Currently streaming on Netflix, you'll find an obscure title called Residue. It's from the director of a couple other movies you've never heard of. Like most things in our post-Stranger Things world, it has a retro, 1980s vibe. The score is decently done in that respect, however nothing else really works and by the second act the director forgets he's even trying.
Most of the budget went to great practical effects and makeup and hiring Costas Mandylor--if you don't know the name, he was the villain in Fist of the North Star. He also starred in some of the shittier Saw sequels. Thanks to the aforementioned effects, there's some pretty good jump scares. The demon looks bad ass, the book is wicked (yeah, that's a pun) cool, and it's damn funny at times. Unfortunately, the comedy is not very well measured. At times, it works very well and helps the characters along nicely. The talking dead was hilarious as was the required dumber-than-dogshit mook sent to clean up the mess. Then there were things like the pro-wrestler who moonlights as a bagman and tells the hero that he could never play the heel--that's a pro wrestling term for villain, in case you're confused. There's also some weird, completely pointless sci-fi gadgets that don't really add anything to the story.
The story follows a horrible, cut-rate private detective that gets offered a ridiculous amount of money to deliver a package. It's a tale as old as time, or at least as old as made-for-cable thrillers. The package turns out to be a book that prematurely ejaculates necroplasm across its pages. It's a cursed book, you see. The autho
r found a monster and killed it, because that's what you do when you discover a new species. Anyway, this is the assholes journal. Now, a shadowy crime boss is trying to find people that can read the book because you get a prize if you can finish it. The prize is more ambiguous than the one in HIghlander, so don't get excited. The book messes with the reader, naturally, causing all sorts of mind fuckery. Some of this is pretty interesting and it opens us up to some horrible thing in the main character's past.
Only, it wasn't that horrible. The ending is less climactic than old people fucking and the story is as disjointed as their hips when they finish up. There's no clear direction with the film at all and in the end that causes it to feel very flat, despite its ups-and-downs.
All in all, the movie gets three out of five stars and two of those are for the makeup effects. It's worth watching if you're bored or have seen everything else, but you're not going to be out anything if you skip it. You can always just rewatch Ash vs Evil Dead if you want real cursed texts.